A Monster for St. John's South - Mount Pearl

Six boxes on the ballot for St. John's South - Mount Pearl. Each of them new, each untested. I'm looking to roll a die and vote based on that.

If only we could take what we like from each candidate and press them into a Play-Dough mold and create what we really want:

Take the agricultural background of Merv Wiseman, cut the Harper out of him and throw him in.

Take the well spoken business sense of Siobhan Coady and add a dash more public appeal from the wharves of Petty Harbour.

Now we need a good honest dose of patriotism from Greg Byrne, minus that new car smell from an untested party.

To that add the heart of the Fighting Newfoundlander, Ryan Cleary minus the hypocrisy of this would be independent who now has raised the Maple Leaf above the Pink White and Green.

With these five in the pot we are left with one lonely independent, throw him in whole to help with the sauce.

Bring to a rapid boil, blend well and pour into the mold. When it is properly plimed-up and set drive a bolt through it's head - perhaps a spike from our one-time railroad and buy it a ticket to Ottawa where it will blend in and disappear like every other one we've sent. Or worse still, return with a mainland accent where we are forced to crucify it to save ourselves.